Pressing Beyond Ourselves in Worship
Note: This note is written primarily with the CHC Worship & Creative Arts Team in mind.
As a worship leader, you never really know what to expect from a Sunday morning crowd one week to the next (perfect reason why placing expectation in God alone is primary, but I digress…). From my estimation, crowds seem to have moods much like people. More precisely, with any given Sunday morning crowd, there is likely much spiritual activity taking place. We’re all at different levels in our faith, circumstances vary for each individual, people are sick, bad attitudes, believers, non-believers, unforgiveness, and the list continues. This past Sunday morning was particularly interesting for me personally…
It started Saturday afternoon. By way of background, God usually begins preparing me for the upcoming Sunday morning during the preceding week. I’m not referring to my preparation musically and spiritually, but rather His preparation of me. Typically, by Saturday afternoon my whole being is pretty much engaged in anticipation of what God wants to do on Sunday morning. This particular Saturday afternoon I was looking for a way out of Sunday morning (yes, it’s true). In general, I had a feeling of heaviness and had no desire to worship, which I chalked up to simple weariness from the week. Since I never like going into Sunday morning with the feeling “I don’t want to be here,” I took time to get alone with God.
The Lord reminded me that often what I feel on a Saturday night is what I will encounter the next morning in church. As an aside, I tend to forget this. My first thought is usually, “You’ve got to get over this.” But the longer I sat in God’s presence, the more I realized this feeling of heaviness and lack of desire to worship was God preparing me for the next morning…not to simply accept it as the way it was going to be, but rather to fight against it with His authority and strength.
Sunday morning I woke up feeling the same way and began to thank God for increased revelation of who He is, for lifting the heaviness, and for releasing a spirit of praise in His people. As we began rehearsing, the team came in the same way I had been feeling the night before…people were tired, sick, didn’t want to be there, etc. At one point I stopped rehearsal and told them what God had shown me the night before and that today we were going to have to push beyond ourselves. While there is no day we face that can be done in our own strength, it seemed particularly important that we allow God’s power to become perfect in our weaknesses (2 Corinthians 12:9). I felt an urgency about this.
And that they did. The entire team pushed beyond themselves.
At the start of the first service we encountered that same spirit of heaviness, but God had prepared us and we began worshipping with such freedom. The choir was amazing, and I believe their surrendered hearts broke through and touched heaven. Something changed in the atmosphere. As the musicians played, people began responding to God in various ways without any leading. As this continued, the chorus of “You are Holy” continued ringing from the hearts of the people. It was truly beautiful.
Second service…wow, the wall, but again the team continued to press. But during this service, something happened in me that hasn’t happened in a long time…if ever to this extreme. We were transitioning songs, and I began praying. As I did, that feeling of heaviness increased. But I knew it was increasing because it needed to be dealt with. We transitioned into “You are Holy” and it was as if the reality of God’s holiness and the intense urgency for others to see Him for who He is collided right in my stomach…as if someone punched me…and I began to weep. There was such an urgency for Him to be seen that it overwhelmed me. I knew God was interceding for His people through the worship and through me.
Now, nothing visibly supernatural happened. But something did break, whether it was just in me or whether it also began in the hearts of those in the crowd. For me, it was a renewed passion for others to walk in the fullness of who He is…to be forever transformed by Him. For the church…well, I am expecting great things. We will be a worshipping church. A church that sees Him for who He is and responds.
